Kashmir: Paradise lost?

It was around 10:30 in the morning, I had just started work with RockeTalk. I was going out for coffee with a friend. My phone beeped- not something it did often as RockeTalk was in its early stages and we had that occasional person who stumbled upon a blog Andy Abramson had written a few days ago. I casually looked at my phone, expecting to start talking in slow English to someone from Eastern Europe- who would want me to send a picture etc. but instead, there was no voice. I sent a quick ‘Hello, how are you?’ A text message came back. I asked ‘Where are you from?’ and a quick text came back- "From ISK. Do you know where that is?”

My mind was racing as I read the text- ISK…ISK.. yes I knew.. don’t know from where I made the connection- Independent State of Kashmir! And my excitement showed in my voice as I sent this message across. A very excited, OMG came from the other side, how did I know what he was talking about? After all I was from California. The guy had hoped to run in to a pretty blonde and here was talking to me.

Kashmir- wow- the true Paradise on Earth, I could not get over my own excitement to be connecting to this young man and we talked- we talked for 6-7 hours. We talked about everything- the current living conditions to the fact that he was Muslim and I was from a mixed heritage- Sikh and Hindu. And the fact that he was genuinely surprised to find someone sympathetic and willing to see the Kashmir situation from an insider’s point of view. He was surprised to find that I knew a lot about Kashmir. And then, we found ourselves talking every day. About what was actually going on in Kashmir, understanding the people’s point of view from an insider.

As luck would have it, I had spent the summer before talking to a friend from the Indian Army, who had just come home after serving in Kashmir was depressed and time and again told me that he had not joined the Army for this. He never imagined he would have to fight his own countrymen to stay alive. And then came this meeting with a group of officers who wanted us to run a help-line using RockeTalk, where the people who had gone through trauma – families of soldiers who have served in Kashmir.

Along this time, a realization dawned on me. I was using this technology, which was something so cool- something I was just about to understand the power of. As a kid, while reading Hardy Boys books, I was fascinated by this device that you needed to scan and set channels to catch what people were randomly saying or something that was specially directed to you- a HAM radio- that caught signals from throughout the world. This was exactly what I was doing- on a much simpler level.

I was getting the first hand views from people all over the world about what was going on in their neck of the woods without any filters. No media hype, no government filters.

And then yesterday something happened, something that rattled me. A RockeTalker sent out a video taken in Sopore and sent out real time for the world to see- a scene from the street. It was as if someone had smacked me in my face- I knew what the purpose of the video was, I knew I had to do something. But what? I could not see what I could do. ABC News already had a small coverage on it so it was not something I could just give to a station to air. But I knew I had to get it out there for the world to see. RockeTalk, was too small an audience for this. This was the people of Kashmir reaching out to the world.

I had to do something. So here goes- my first interaction with this stranger- an ID I had seen come online several times in two years– but an ID that never responded back whenever I tried to ping.


Kashmir me aag. 18 log mare gaye, 86 zakmi hogaye. Use me se sopore k 6 mare gaye..
(Fire in Kashmir. 18 people dead, 86 injured. 6 of the dead from Sopore...)




Me: Sopore? Him: Sopore kashmir ka ek khas shehar hai
(Sopore is a main town in Kashmir)
Me: maloom hai.
(I know)
Me: Suno. Kisi ka pata lagana ho to kaisai.. SMS to nahi chale ga..
(listen. If I need to inquire about someone, how... SMS will not work..)
Him: Nahi SMS nahi chale ga
( No it will not work)
Me: Mere dost hain waha
(My friends are there)
Him: Aap ke dost ya ha hai? Kon
(Your friends are here? Who)
Me: Kashmiri hain
(They are from Kashmir)

Him... went offline

About 8-9 hrs later......

Kashmir me azadi ki shama jal gaye, abi tak 143 zakmi hogaye aur 58 k lagbag mare gaye. Us me phr se sopore k 2 aur srinagar k 2 aur bandipora k 5 aur palhalen ka 1 mara gaya.
(Freedom's fire lite in Kashmir, as of now, 143 injured and 58 died. Out of these 2 from Sopore, 2 from Srinagar, 5 from Bandipora and 1 from Palhalen)



Me: Rukko. Suno. Tum abhi kashmir me ho?
(Wait. Listen. Are you right now in Kashmir?
Him:Haan me kashmir se hu. Aur kashmiri he hu. Me sopore se hu. Aur kuch?
(Yes i am in Kashmir. And I am from Kashmir. I am from Sopore. Anything else?)
Him: Aaj indian news kyu khamosh hai? Jo yaha par marte hai wo kya insaan nahi?
(Why is the Indian media quiet today? Are those who are dying here, not human?)
Me: Dekho, jo haalat hai unse to nipatna hi ho ga. Jo munasif samjho karo lekin apna khyaal rakhna. Bahut der se ye sab chal raha hai. Shayad waqt aa gaya hai. Parbar digar tumhe aur wahan sab ko salaamat rakhen. Itni durr se to dua hi kar sakti hoon. (See deal with the situation at hand. Do was is needed but we careful. This has been going on for too long. Maybe the time has come. May the All Mighty keep you and everyone there safe. I can't do much else sitting here other than prayer)
Him: Pehli bar kisi hindu ko aisa bolte huwe dekh raha hu.. Khuda aapko sab kuch dy jis ki kimi ho aapko. Meri duva Allah se hai.. ,
(First time heard a Hindu say such a thing. May Allah give you everything that is lacking in your life. That is my wish from Allah for you...)
Me: how old are you?
Him: 23 me chal raha hu
(23 I am going)
Me: Allah Haffiz. Apna khayal rakhna. Yaad rakhna tumhara pehla farz apne ghar ke taraf ka hai. mein ne dekha hai maa-baap pe kya guzarti hai. Jo bhi karte ho soch samajh kar karna. Haalat me garmi hai lekin jaan aakhir jaan hai. Khairiyat batate rehna
(Allah look over over. Take care of yourself. Remember, your first duty is to your family... I have seen what parents go through. Whatever you do, think it over first. The situation is bad but life is life. Keep me posted on your well being.)
Him:Khuda Hafiz Me: Khuda Hafiz. Khairiyat batatay rehna. Video, pictures meri dusri ID pe bejte rehna. Kuchh khaas to nahi kar sakti but waqt aa gaya hai ki jo bhi ban paye, karoon gi.
(Allah be with you. Keep me posted on your well being. keep sending me the real things that are going on- videos, pictures. I can't do much but I can try)
Him: Theek hai agar zindagi ne saath diya to send karta rahoon ga.
(OK will keep sending if I'm I alive)

On being me: Things I learnt from mom

Mom- a wonderful woman, full of life, a woman who worked hard all her life, who I never saw much of while growing up- a woman who shaped my life in ways I never realized.

Here goes:

1. Always believe the good in other people.
2. Treat others as human beings no matter what their race, color, religion, status or living conditions.
3. There is a Higher Power- call Him what you like. Say a little prayer- not particularly to any one ‘God’ but to the Power there.
4. Be kind to others.
5. Books are great teachers. It is Okay to get lost deep in a book and not look up till you are done.
6. Girls are no less than boys.
7. Keep a good sense of humor.
8. Women need to be strong.
9. It is OK to be affectionate. It is OK to feel hurt.
10. It is OK to fight- as long as you make up.
11. Always standby friends.
12. All kids have great potential.
13. Do not be superstitious.
14. Women can help other women.
15. It is OK not to be ambitious.
16. It is OK to be generous.

Mom never preached, always taught by example.

Good in other people: Well- she always found something that was good in everyone- no matter what. There was always a dish someone cooked well, a dress they looked great in, had a talent that only she could spot and point out. She made people feel at ease and good about themselves.

Treat others as humans- right from the rickshaw puller who got her home on true Indian summer afternoon- all sweaty and exhausted, to the poor man who came begging at the door. She never gave them extra money- but she always offered food and cold water. I do not recall anyone turning away from our door without a glass of water.

Ahh- her best gift- the belief in a Higher Power, a belief that encouraged me to see the good in all religion and respect them all. A belief that makes me feel humble whenever I see a church, mosque, gurudwara, synagogue or a temple.

Books- oh she just got this totally engrossed look on her face. She just laughed when I stayed up through the night as a teen, finishing Gone With the Wind in a less than two days! Later she told me she had done the same. She introduced me to some of the most sensitive writings – from the regular Western classics to the wonderful Indian and Urdu literature to the works of Pearl. S. Buck. She taught me that it was OK to go so deep in to the characters that you cry and laugh with them.

She taught me that it was OK to be so mad and then just catch the humor in the situation and laugh. Something that I thing I forgot to do along the way. I forgot to laugh at myself. I was much happier when I burst out laughing in the middle of an argument [:)]

Yes, women need to be strong- so what if her dad passed away when she was not even out of her teens leaving behind several younger siblings to fend for. Just took things in her hands to start earning and send money back home. So what if she lost her most loved child, her only son, in a freak accident? She did not give in and cry. Did she forget? No.

It is OK to love with all your heart without looking for returns.

For her it was natural to love all children. I mean all children- as her own. Did that make me jealous? You bet!

Be generous- give the best you have to others. Gifts need to be meaningful and not expensive. But don’t look at the cost if it is something that will truly make them smile.